Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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