Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
