wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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