so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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