Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize