Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
