Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just want to make out with him forever
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
