Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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