do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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