Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
