dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
