If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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