Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
