wanna go halves on a baby?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
