I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize