So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
