i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
