So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
