Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
