when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
