She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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