he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize