A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
