Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize