i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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