now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize