porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
