Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
