he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
