I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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