I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
