Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
