I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They have beer where we have blood.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
