I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
