You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
