Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize