We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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