YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize