He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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