Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
