small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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