For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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