boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
