You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
