I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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