i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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