How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
