Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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