Yo dont text me then not text me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
