and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
