This is not my ceiling
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
