he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
