he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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