She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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