Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize