Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
