DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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