I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
