i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
